Tuesday...Mourning...Somewhat

I know it's been since like, the 3rd since we've communicated, but hey, I just haven't been in the mood to write out all these emotions! It's been almost 4 full days since "S" and I have spoken, which is fine...technically, but something in me is really tripping over the fact that he has yet to make an effort to reach out to me. I am like, 'How can you NOT want to talk to me?' I know that sounds incredibly vain, but I honestly don't mean it in that way. I am just over here like 'are you really that rude and inconsiderate?' Oh well, I know I shouldn't deal with him anyway...and why did I get a blast from the past the other evening from someone that I SO don't even want to even look at? Oh, well, at least this picture of sexy Sydney beach is beautiful!

Love and Light,

ACS

Well, the last time you heard from me was on Sunday. I've perfected my body during this time period by the Indian dancing I prev told you about, as well as my daily walking and yoga. I was so peeved with "S" last night and expressed as much...letting him know that I feel like EVERYTHING is always on his terms, ect. He didn't appreciate me telling him that I feel like he's being selfish and the 'base' in my voice when expressing it. I called him this morning and we spoke for exactly 43.8 minutes, discussing last night's conversation and what we're going to do or NOT do for that matter going forward. I think I was cool with saying whatever and calling it a day, but then I saw him in the elevator and man, oh man, did my feelings of desire just boil over for him! What to do, what to do?

Love and Light,

ACS

Sunday

So I did this ULTIMATE Indian Dance today that blasted a good 250 calories in 30 minutes. Prior to that, I did a good 30 minutes of power walking and I cooled down with a 10 minute bike ride. I spoke with someone VERY special for over an hour today and nope, it wasn't "S"--although I attempted to call him and got his voicemail. Oh well, what the heck can I say? At least I got a major workout today!

Love and Light,

ACS

Why are weekends so short?

Is it normal to get so completly irritated with people you really love? I am not talking about the boy/girl kind of love, but the friendship kind. I don't know if it's just me or if something is actually going on. Am I changing? Why are all these people suddenly driving me insane in the membrane? Maybe it is just me and I need to reevaluate how I feel about myself and ask the important questions, like 'Why is this upsetting me?' 'Is this worth losing a good friend?' My horoscope advised I would reconnect with the past right? (FYI I don't BELIEVE them, but sometimes its kinda ironic to read it and be like, wait, that is spot on!) And guess what? A friend called me that I have been successfully avoiding for the last several months due to the fact whenever this friend calls me, she LOADS me down with all the freaking drama and issues going on in her life...and these are the SAME issues that exisited for several years now and quite frankly, I'm tired of them. What to do? Sleepy time now!

Light A Spark In Your Own Life,

ACS

PS-Enjoy Kyoto

TGIF

It seems that things are reverting back to normal between "S" and I, despite having a good time yesterday. It's like if I cut him off for a few days, he gets his act together just long enough for me to get excited and then, boom...right back to reality. (I worked on perfecting my body by eating a salad for dinner!) I chose this particular photo of bamboos so that I can somehow summon their energy in my own life. Bamboo is one of the strongest elements and can be made into just about anything. My horoscope said I shouldn't go all the way today in some endeavor which makes me feel like I should have read it before starting my day! Ahh well!

Light and Love,

Amber

Confusing Day...

Isn't this flower beautiful? Well, after 6 1/2 long days, I broke down and called "S" and he didn't answer--total disappointment. I even txted my girlfriends for moral support! Well, I end up seeing him and I continued walking as if I DIDN'T see him as he was so wrapped up on his cell, he stopped me and we chit chatted for a brief second and shared an elevator together where we hugged. I feel so redeemed now, like I have the upper hand again! (I did a power blast walk that neared 30 minutes...possibly will complete 1 session of yoga but honestly, this Chilean wine has me feeling kind of tipsy already.) What will tomorrow bring?

Enjoy The Light While You Can,

ACS

It HAS to be Sunny and Bright in Manila

Today started off just like every other day--rushed and random at the same time. I haven't even thought about perfecting my body at all. I don't know why but this photo I've posted really captures the mood I've been in for the majority of the day. Buried deep within, I had a small hope that "S" would have reached out and contacted me by now either by phone or txt message, but nope, not a word and its been 5 1/2 full days. Each day I'm sure will get easier and eventually, this person will be so far removed from my mind I won't even flutter at the mention of his name. It was weird bc today it seemed as if I was on a mission to FIND him in some manner. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't blowing up his phone or riding around town looking crazy, just wondering what he was doing...every 5 minutes. I couldn't focus on much--did I mention I almost had a wreck today? Moving right along, remember the guy I thought was super cute a few days ago--like back on Friday? Went to church tonight and guess what? He's as married as married can be--two kids and all. I wasn't disappoineted, though...even though in my mind I allowed all the possibilities to form. Now, I can focus my thoughts on other things. Will I perfect my body and have the perfect husband anytime soon? I wish I knew...I'll be good with perfecting this hot body first!

Light Despite The Darkness,

ACS